


F. Tony vs Godzilla

by AWildTrashCan, IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic



Series: Middleditch & Schwartz Extended Universe [3]
Category: Godzilla: King of The Monsters (2019), Middleditch & Schwartz, Middleditch and Schwartz, Space Force (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, F. Tony Scarapiducci-centric, F. Tony being a little shit throughout the Godzilla:KotM movie, Gen, Still funny though, We hope, Will progressively get angstier, cover art added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24736630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildTrashCan/pseuds/AWildTrashCan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic/pseuds/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic
Summary: A higher-up in Monarch had some "great" idea to improve public opinion on Titans by hiring a social media consultant.Enter one F. Tony Scarapiducci.
Relationships: F. Tony Scarapiducci and G-Team, F. Tony Scarapiducci and Godzilla, F. Tony Scarapiducci and Monarch, F. Tony Scarapiducci and Sam Coleman
Series: Middleditch & Schwartz Extended Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786177
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	1. #newjob

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kaiju Force](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24706459) by [AWildTrashCan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildTrashCan/pseuds/AWildTrashCan), [IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic/pseuds/IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic). 



> This chapter is short and sweet to introduce F.Tony into Monarch. The chapters may get longer (and less shitposty) as the story continues.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/169931266@N06/50066172783/in/dateposted-public/)

**Cover by IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic**

**Monarch @Monarch  
UGH! Military always be up in our biz XP  
@GodzillaKingofMonsters @MothraQueenofMonsters  
#LeaveTheTitansAlone**

Fuck Tony Scarapiducci strides through the double doors leading into the Senate hearing room, eyes glued to his iPhone 11. Fortunately, the room is pretty much hella empty except for the senators, some military personnel, and his fellow Monarch employees, so he walks in without getting stopped.

An older Japanese man is in the middle of a baller speech about nature and humanity when he gets closer to the front. Oh, shit! This must be one of the head scientists he was briefed about before coming here. 

**Monarch @Monarch  
“I admire all forms of life.” - Dr. Serizawa, 2019  
(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و  
@GodzillaKingofMonsters @MothraQueenofMonsters  
#symbioticrelationship #respectnature**

"Excuse me, sir! We are in the middle of a discussion."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm supposed to be here," he replies, not looking up from his phone and instead lazily waving his hand at the senator. "Just gotta double check, aaaaaand send tweet."

Satisfied by the influx of likes and retweets, Tony looks up to address the half-circle of politicians. "F. Tony Scarapiducci, head media manager for Monarch." He gives a casual two-finger salute.

He most definitely _doesn’t_ hear a military man sitting in the opposite counsel table groaning, “Oh God, not _this_ asshole again.” 

"Uh…" The man with the scruffy beard sitting closest to him gives a cautious look to the higher-ups in front of them. "Monarch doesn't have—"

Tony presses a finger to the shorter man’s lips. "Shhhh, you do now.”

The woman, sitting in the middle of the two men, presumably Dr. Graham, asks in a soft English accent, “Excuse me.” She stares up at Tony warily. “I wasn’t aware there would be other Monarch employees coming...much less a 'media manager'?”

“Right! I actually have a message for you.” Tony pulls out his phone once again and reads the note he made to himself. He reads it aloud to the three. Well, rather the two scientists as Coleman makes himself busy with trying to placate the higher-ups. “Um...Dr. Emma...Russell? Yup, Russell. And daughter kidnapped. Whale missing.” He looks up from his phone to ask Serizawa, “How do you kidnap a whale?”

They both stare at Tony incredulously for a minute, before Graham registers what Tony said first. “Wait a minute. You said Dr. Russell and her daughter got kidnapped?!” 

“Yeah.” Tony is a little worried that the lead scientists of a major science organization are a bit slow in the uptake. “That’s what I just said. And the whale.”

Serizawa’s eyes widen in realization, “The ORCA.” The two scientists quickly pick up their things. Graham whispers to Coleman and they quickly walk out, ignoring the senator’s warnings and leaving the two men to fend for themselves. 

Tony watches the scruffy director stutter, “Uh, you know what, Senators, while I confer with my colleagues here, I’m gonna set you up with a very brief but pretty fun documentary on Titan reproduction.” He gives an awkward wink and opens up a video file on the projector screen. 

Tony’s eyebrow arches as two Titans on the screen press what he hopes are their faces together before a mosaic covers the area. 

Coleman continues talking as he rushes outside of the room himself, “I think this is the one where the genitals are blurred out.” Oh! Nevermind on the faces, then. “But if not you can leave a comment with my assistant.”

The tall brunet follows as to not get left behind. “Was that seriously a video of two Titans fucking? Where can I watch the rest of it?” he asks Coleman, grinning widely.

The director gives Tony an annoyed glance as they speedwalk after the scientists. “Uh...er, yeah? It’s on the Monarch Youtube page.” 

“Oh shit!” Tony fistpumps and returns to Twitter to spread the word. 

**Monarch @Monarch  
CALLING ALL MONSTER FUCKERS!!!!  
Are y’all interested in seeing some HOT TITAN ON TITAN ACTION! ;D  
www.youtube.com/user/MonarchSciences - Titan Reproduction Documentary  
@GodzillaKingofMonsters @MothraQueenofMonsters  
#censoredgenitalia #furries #scalies #nokinkshaming**


	2. #CabinInTheWoods

Tony constantly has to travel by air, it's usually in his job description as part of whatever military or private branch he's in at the time. But that doesn't mean he has to _like_ being stuck in a shuddering heap of metal thousands of feet above the ground.

Which is why he's grateful when they finally touch down and find the man they need, Mark Russell. Even if it is in some dank log cabin in the middle of nowhere and everyone else is talking about a science gizmo he’s not qualified to understand, and thus, does not really pay attention, choosing to snoop around the cabin instead.

The place is rustic, not much out of the ordinary and it really is just meant to be a place to rest between trips out into the wilderness. The most fun Tony has is from looking at novelty mugs lying around the kitchen, and he can't even appreciate those for long as the conversation beside him rises to a volume he can't tune out and he turns to look at the others.

The haggard man whips his head between Serizawa and Graham and asks, “Who is he?”

Sam gives an awkward smile and holds out his hand. “Um, Sam Coleman. I’m head of technology. I joined Monarch, uh, shortly after you left.” When he doesn’t receive a handshake, he not-so-smoothly pats the table between them. “I’m a big fan of your wife."

Tony can’t stop the toothy smile from growing on his face.

“...’s work. And you.” Sam’s eyes dart between looking at Mark and at the corner of the table. He gives a nervous chuckle, attempting to salvage the conversation. “That just came out so weird, I’m sorry.”

Hah! This guy is _hilarious_ !

Tony whispers to Sam from behind, “Nice, nice, nice.” He giggles as he dodges the elbow Sam attempts to lodge into his chest. 

Mark's eyes glance at Tony. "And who the hell is _he_ ?"

Not bothering to hold out a hand for a handshake that won’t come, Tony brushes off some dust from his suit jacket and smirks, “F. Tony Scarapiducci. Monarch’s new media consultant.”

Sighing, Mark doesn’t even bother to acknowledge him—uh, _rude!_ —instead turning towards Dr. Graham. “Emma and I decided to destroy the prototype.”

And back to the boring science drama. 

Tony returns to nosing around the house, tuning into the argument every now and again. Blah, blah...Tony can name several people other than Mark’s ex-wife who apparently have God complexes. It seems like every agency he becomes a part of has at least one. 

He notices Sam getting increasingly more constipated looking and is about to ask him if he needs to take a dump, when the scruffy man starts talking again, “That may be, Mark. But it’s fallen into the wrong hands. And right now, the ORCA is the only thing keeping Emma and Madison alive.”

Oh, shit. If Tony knew it’s this serious he would have paid attention much earlier. 

Well, to be honest, not even. Human lives in exchange for whatever today's weapon of mass destruction is an unfortunately common dilemma in his line of work. At least as the PR guy, he doesn’t have to partake in any of the ethical debating, he just needs to make the winner look good afterward. 

But he does feel bad for the poor father. The depressing atmosphere is almost palpable as Mark stares out the window, listening to Dr. Graham’s sympathetic words.

The tension makes Tony uncomfortable, so he goes back to texting on his phone. The bright screen refreshes his mind as well as the webpage. 

He forces himself to get absorbed in the silly posts, only brought back to reality when he feels a "gentle" punch on the shoulder. 

Sam gives him a deadpan look and informs Tony that they’re about to head back to HQ. 

Tony rubs the sore area and groans. They have to fly again?!


	3. #GOD-ZILLA

Tony is left alone as his much more science-competent coworkers have a meeting with the other personnel. He shrugs and decides to take a walk, having literally nothing to do. He applies his ring light phone attachment and picks a direction. 

As he walks through the dim hallways, he absentmindedly takes pictures of his surroundings. The walls are solid gray, mixed with the natural rock of the terrain. The sparse walls are only separated by floor to ceiling glass-covered offices filled with random tech that are, to his disappointment, _not_ super spy gadgets. Just more computer monitors. 

He huffs, “For a top-secret base, there’s not a lot of interesting things to look at.” 

The entire facility is illuminated under a teal hue, which really highlights the whole underwater vibe Castle Bravo has going on for itself. Which makes sense, given it is in the middle of the ocean. In Bermuda...are they in the Bermuda Triangle? 

Holy shit! They _must_ be in the Bermuda Triangle! 

Tony makes a note for himself in his phone to ask Sam if they were in the Bermuda Triangle. 

He fiddles with his phone for only a few minutes more until he decides to just put it away for now. Nothing else to really do. 

Tony glances down at his arms, his pale skin gleaming blue like the aliens from _Avatar_. It’s so drab in here, how do people function? 

He thinks back to the last glimpse he took of the sun before the aircraft descended into the sarlacc-like opening of the Monarch outpost. He had stuck himself to the chair with its crossover seatbelt, unlike the others who had freely moved around the Osprey. He ignored their continued discussion about Titans, keeping his eyes shut and trying not to vomit all over the floor. 

Somehow, Sam had persuaded Tony to come with him and Mark to take a peek at their arrival. 

“Too bad you can’t make a tweet about this, huh?” Sam had teased Tony as the taller man was keeping a very tight hold on the back of the pilot’s chair. Even if he wasn’t under a (quite lenient, to be honest) NDA, Tony did not want to take out his phone if it meant he had to let go. 

His thoughts are disrupted by the sudden blaring of an alarm. An urgent voice over the speakers startles him into action as several crewmen run around the base. 

_“All personnel, report to battle stations. Code Red. This is not a drill. All personnel…”_

Tony takes his phone out again and immediately presses record. Not live streaming, of course, but to at least have some video documentation of whatever the fuck is going on. He jogs with his phone up at eye level pointing towards whoever he passes by.

“Hey, what’s going on?!” He yells over the noise. He’s ignored. 

Tony flutters around before he notices Mark over the crowd. He calls Mark’s name to no avail. The older man is quite far ahead of him, so Tony zooms his phone lens at the other man and uses that to aid his direction. 

He follows the mass of people to a massive room filled with large computer screens and what looks to be various monitoring technology. Now, not only blue light emits from his surroundings but also various other strings of color in wave formations that Tony won’t even try to comprehend. The other Monarch employees are in a flurry of activity, a person at every computer and a group surrounding every terminal. The colonel directs orders left and right, her voice strong over the constant piercing blare. 

He finally finds Mark but is hesitant to go over when he sees the man busily discussing something with the other scientists. 

Tony panics, are they going to have a monster battle right now?! His phone darts around as he eagerly searches for familiar faces to hide behind.

His eyes land on Sam standing stiffly in the middle of the console area. He breathes a sigh of relief and rushes over, hopefully not accidentally running into anyone else in a hurry.

Aware of how useless he is right now, Tony keeps himself silent as he sneaks into the group behind Sam.

The room trembles as if there’s an earthquake and Tony almost loses his balance, having to hold onto Sam’s shoulder for support. Sam startles at the contact, his eyes widening at seeing the taller man suddenly behind him. The director of technology must have forgotten Tony had even been in the facility at all. 

The brunet apologizes but is unable to let go due to the shaking. Thankfully, Sam doesn’t seem to really mind as he doesn’t brush off the other man, instead focusing on the problem at hand. 

The room returns to stillness, allowing Tony to release Sam from his hold with a slightly distressed thank you. He continues to watch the professionals work. The colonel readies her soldiers in cockpits that Tony hadn’t noticed were there, and he hears the clicking of the keyboard as the engineers wait for a response of some kind. 

The rumble of a growl vibrates through his body. It’s different from the earthquake earlier, more raw-sounding and it makes Tony shiver. He looks around anxiously as everyone becomes quiet at the command of the petite woman next to him. What’s happening?!

A steady drumbeat accompanies the low growling. 

“Open the shields.” Mark shatters the uneasy silence. 

The white-haired man sitting in the computer in front of him snarks back, “Oh yeah, sure. Let’s bring him in for a beer. You out of your goddamn mind?!”

Tony’s thoughts exactly. 

With no idea how, Mark persuades Dr. Serizawa and thus, the others to “open the shields”.

The aforementioned shield, which looks just like a gigantic metal latch, slides apart in front of them. Bright blue light appears as the shields open and blinds Tony for a moment. 

Once his eyes adjust, he can see a pulsing beam radiate from a large shadowy figure, the dark depths of the ocean swallowing the silhouette when the light disappears. 

“Holy fuckballs.” A few people turn their heads toward Tony and he grins back sheepishly as he realizes he said it out loud. 

He _so_ needs to record this.

The iPhone is thankfully still on video mode, so he holds the phone between his two hands in a horizontal position. Next to him, Sam rolls his eyes but ultimately lets Tony do as he pleases. 

It’s his job after all.

Catching Mark making his way closer to the glass window, Tony goes to follow to get a better shot at what he now understands to be Godzilla. 

He’s stopped by Sam grabbing his sleeve, but Tony bats the other guy away. “Dude!” He whispers. He steadies his phone again and strides next to Mark who’s having a staring contest with the Kaiju. 

Tony’s breath leaves him upon going closer to the monstrous being. Godzilla’s face is practically pressed up to the glass, the camera just barely picking up the gleam of its eyes. 

It’s—He’s? He’s beautiful, Tony thinks. This must be what nature nerds feel when they go bird watching or something. 

Godzilla’s continuous heartbeat over the speakers becomes almost soothing as Tony’s ears get used to it. Don’t be fooled, he’s still scared as shit by the Titan in front of him, it _is_ responsible for the destruction of a whole city! But, weirdly enough, knowing how insignificant he is to Godzilla and other monsters like him make the social media manager feel less affected by whatever life stressors plague the back of his mind. Even the most influential of people are nothing but ants in comparison. 

But at the same time...seeing his window reflection overlap the Titan’s, observing each other, F. Tony Scarapiducci has never felt any more seen than right this moment. 

Fuck, man. Is this the symbiotic balance Dr. Serizawa was talking about earlier that day?

Tony keeps his phone up, resolutely recording every part of Godzilla even as the Titan swims further and further into the distance. Everyone behind him sighs in relief. 

“What the _fuck_?!” Another flash erupts from the darkness and the trembling restarts as all of a sudden, Godzilla’s long body swims past the window and then finally away from the outpost. Tony falls to the ground still clutching onto his phone. 

He may have another one hidden in his ankle holster, but he cannot lose any of the footage he had just taken. 

“That was _awesome_!” Tony fistpumps the hand holding his iPhone as the shields close. He stays on the floor, head having gotten dizzy by the whole ordeal and lets the others go back to their serious talking.


	4. #newfriend

Yet again, they’re in another aircraft, but unlike the Ospreys, the Argo is massive. From what Sam told him, the USS Argo is Monarch’s mobile headquarters and is capable of holding the Ospreys inside of it, a sickbay, important technology, and whatever else Tony has no idea hundreds of feet in the air. 

Tony is on his iPhone again, but instead of texting, he’s replaying the clip of Godzilla. No matter how many times he’s watched it, he still gets goosebumps seeing the Titan’s breath fog up the glass surface. 

“He’s terrifying, isn’t he?” Even with his eyes still on the video, Tony knows it’s Dr. Graham from her English lilt. 

He looks up to see her smile fondly at the Titan on the screen, softening the harshness of her words. 

She continues, “...he could kill us all with just a single breath.” The scientist’s grin turns mischievous when she directs it at Tony, “Is it weird that I think that’s the coolest part?”

“Um...no, that _is_ pretty cool.” Tony concedes and laughs awkwardly, wondering why Dr. Graham is talking to him out of nowhere, but decides he might as well be polite, “...is that why you started working at Monarch?”

“I’ve always been interested in the more monstrous aspects of nature, so imagine my excitement when I learned _actual_ monsters exist.” She opens her mouth as if to continue, but gets sidetracked when she notices Sam walking towards them, “Sam! Has the meeting started yet?”

“Yeah, almost. We’re just waiting for Dr. Chen to bring her info, but we should start walking to the cockpit.” Sam flicks his eyes between Graham and Tony, “Are you coming?” He asks Tony.

Tony raises his eyebrows, “Right. I guess I should, right? See what’s up...I guess.” He exits out of the video and puts his phone away.

As they walk to the bridge, Dr. Graham speaks, “I forgot to ask, how did you get recruited to Monarch, Mr. Scarapiducci?”

Sam turns his attention to Tony, also curious. 

“Ahh, just call me Tony!” Tony answers flippantly, “I’ve just been hopping from agency to agency as a PR guy. Monarch must have learned about my _awesome_ social skills, but now I have to deal with Titan stuff, too.” Monarch had hired him to be more of a historian than just a social media consultant, supplying Tony with several cameras and audio recorders. They’re expecting him to document everything their employees are doing in the hopes that some form of transparency would get the United States government off their back.

“Where did—”

Tony interrupts Sam’s question with a pat on the back, “But enough about me, why did you join Monarch, Sam?”

Sam blinks. “Oh! Well...uh, I'm more of a computers guy and I wanted to help Monarch be more globally connected, to make it easier for the facilities to send info to each other. Nothing much,” he shrugs.

“Sam has done a lot more than that.” Dr. Graham nods pointedly at Tony, “He’s just being modest.”

The tech director takes the opportunity to leave the conversation by hurrying ahead. 

Dr. Graham laughs, “We all have different reasons, obviously. But we’re all united in our goal to help Titans and humans coexist safely.”

Tony remembers, “Dr. Serizawa’s symbiotic thing right?”

She hums in agreement, but if she has anything else to say, it goes unsaid as they’re quickly distracted by the start of the meeting.

~O~

Tony double checks his gear, making sure the GoPro strapped to his hat is secure. He may not be in the middle of the action with the soldiers, but it never hurts to be ready to record at a moment’s notice in this situation.

He follows the scientists outside the Osprey, the flurry of snow hindering some of his vision. A rumble invades his ears and a moving dark figure slithers out of the cliff ahead.

He looks up, up, _up_.

...well, shit.

Having been the last one out, Tony is the first to go right back to his seat. A loud roar and crash accompanying his rush to put on his seatbelt. 

Tony has his arms wrapped around himself when he smells something burning and the aircraft suddenly rocks, the lights inside flashing on and off. He has no idea what’s going on outside, but with the shaking getting rougher and the growls getting louder, he’s pretty sure the monster is coming closer. 

“Oh, fuck.” He shuts his eyes and chants repeatedly, just barely registering the other people in the Osprey also freaking out. He makes the mistake of opening one eye to take a peek and is given the sight of the Titan’s snout cracking the window next to Serizawa’s head. 

The head—or is it a different one?!—moves to the roof and knocks into that too. It immediately reminds Tony of the T-rex scene from _Jurassic Park_. _So_ not helpful!

“Please don’t make me the guy who dies in the portapotty!” Tony wails to any higher power listening. 

The rocking stops and the heads disappear from view. The inside of the Osprey is silent as everyone waits for _something_ to happen, whether for Monster Zero to resume his headbutting or just straight up zapping them to oblivion. 

The radar at the control terminal is the only thing making sound for a tense few seconds...until a giant burst erupts from the ice. Tony still can’t see what’s happening from where he’s sitting but it causes more roaring to occur. So much roaring that Tony’s ears begin to ring in pain. 

“Everybody hold on!” Someone yells from the front. Excuse you, Tony’s been holding on and will _stay_ holding on. The aircraft’s body rolls back and forth, swinging Tony’s insides along with it. The Osprey stops abruptly and his head whiplashes against a hard surface. The ringing in his head gets louder. 

“Everybody clear out. Let’s go!”

Dizzy, Tony tries to follow the voice’s commands. He blurrily removes his seatbelt and stands up. He takes a step to walk, but wobbles and accidentally knocks into someone just standing in the middle of the lane. 

That person turns around and Tony disorientedly realizes it’s Dr. Graham.

“Help me get Mark out!” She shouts as she pulls cables and debris out of the way. 

Tony takes a deep breath to prevent any incoming nausea and hurriedly helps Graham free Mark. Once the cables are gone, Mark urges Tony and Graham to run, and Tony is very quick to follow the older man’s directions. 

Just in time too as soon as Mark crawls out of the vehicle, Tony turns around to see the Osprey fall over the icy cliff it was perilously balancing along the edge of. 

Tony takes a short glance at the motherfucking Kaiju fight happening right above him before just bolting after Graham. 

He has no idea where the fuck they’re supposed to go and the snowfall turns into a blizzard. He just continues to follow Graham’s smaller figure ahead of him. 

Just keep running.

Tony pants heavily, each exhale seems like he’ll throw up his heart any second now.

Keep running.

Keep running.

Keep ru—

Graham screams and the scientist just _disappears_ in front of him as a scale-covered head descends onto the snow where she was standing before rising up just as quickly.

Tony freezes and stares. 

Did...did she just get...eaten?

Paralyzed by the sight, Tony misses seeing the missile just fucking _explode_ in front him and the shockwave knocks him back—thankfully, into a nearby snowbank. 

The pile of snow cushions his fall and sharply brings the man back to reality. He groans as he sits up. He takes a moment to look at the ongoing fight and then goes to stand. The blast still weakened him, so he’s unable to support his body and drops back down to his knees. 

However, he’s able to see Mark’s unconscious form a few feet from him. 

Please don’t be dead too. 

Tony crawls to the older man, his own limbs numb from the cold and harsh treatment. When he calls for Mark, only a sob comes out of his mouth. The scientist has his eyes closed and is unresponsive to the younger man shaking him. 

Tony goes to say Mark’s name again when multiple voices do it first. He looks up from Mark’s frostbitten face to see Lieutenant Griffin and other G-Team members, whose faces he can’t be bothered to recognize right now, run toward Tony and Mark. 

One soldier pulls Tony’s arm around his shoulders and helps him walk back to the others. Tony hisses in pain, but makes himself turn around to watch Mark surrounded by more soldiers until the sleet and snow forces him to look forward again.

~O~

The Monarch media manager sluggishly walks into his assigned room having just left the Argo’s sickbay after learning that Mark’s alive—knocked out, but still breathing. Despite wanting to just lie down and not be woken up for at least a few centuries, Tony had been able to charm the nurse into letting him rest in his own room. Or he just looked that pathetic enough that anyone would have felt sorry for him. Either way, it works and Tony collapses on the chair closest to the doorway.

He slumps as low as he could and takes off his hat, running his fingers through his haggard hair. He almost forgets about the camera strapped to the front. He gazes at the GoPro, debating on whether or not he has enough fucks to give to at least try to do his job.

Ehh….whatever. If it’s broken, less work for him. 

Unfortunately, it still turns on which annoyingly impresses Tony. Monarch spent extra on the good stuff. He fiddles with the settings to see how much of the incident the camera had recorded.

"...Tony."

It takes Tony awhile to realize that somebody has been calling his name. He looks up from his GoPro to see Dr. Coleman’s fidgety self. After a few minutes of silence, Tony arches his brow, getting irritated at Sam’s hesitance.

Sam opens and closes his mouth in false starts before taking a breath and just going for it, "Are you...alright?" He immediately cuts himself off, looking to the ground frustrated at what just came out of his mouth. "God, that was stupid. I'm sorry, I mean—"

"Hey, man, it's cool. I know what you meant." Tony gives the scruffy director a smile to reassure him, but seeing Sam’s face gradually get more uncomfortable, it must not have been all that convincing. "This kind of stuff...it's just something that happens when you work in these kinds of jobs, gotta get used to getting a bit roughed up." He decides not to mention the most “roughed up” he’s gotten in his old jobs was stubbing his toe or maybe even a punch in the face after annoying someone one too many times. Never near-death experiences or worse, seeing someone else die. 

“Um,” Sam appears dissuaded and if Tony’s looking closely enough, slightly cautious. Whether over finding the right words or how he might react to them, Tony doesn’t need to know. “I meant—”

"Don't worry about me." The taller man lets out a sigh, "You should worry about yourself...Dr. Graham was _your_ friend. I barely even knew her.” He ignores Sam’s concerned stare. “And anyway, you've got some other nerds to talk to on the bridge, don't you? Don't keep them waiting." 

"I...okay," Sam turns slowly as if waiting for Tony to change his mind. As if Tony wanted the other man to stay and listen to him talk about his _feelings_ , bleh. 

"I got my own job to do. Like I said," Tony waves his GoPro in emphasis, "don't worry about me."

As soon as the tech director is out of sight Tony goes back to reviewing the camera’s contents. 

A majority of the footage is useless, the snow blowing past the lens too dense and the movement too shaky to make out anything other than flashes of light when the dragon presumably shoots out lightning. Until finally the blizzard obscuring most of the camera’s view clears enough, just in time to show enormous jaws snapping shut around Grah—

…

He deletes the footage and moves on to the next clip.

There are some records Monarch doesn’t need to keep, he thinks.


	5. #badguy

The colors of sunrise shine through the windows surrounding the cockpit, a contrast to the Argo’s somber atmosphere. Tony doesn’t know what to do, he’s just standing around awkwardly and quietly watching the other Monarch employees talk. He can’t stop his eyes from straying towards Dr. Serizawa every once in a while, the old man staring blankly at the picture of Dr. Graham’s file on the monitor screen in front of him.

Sam, Rick, and Colonel Foster are in the middle of the bridge arguing over Dr. Russell’s involvement in releasing Monster Zero, an argument Mark quickly resolves once he walks in. 

Tony admits to being cynical, so he isn’t all that shocked when he learns that their own coworker apparently joined forces with a mercenary terrorist and betrayed them. During his last PR stint, his boss was forcibly replaced by an arrogant, bloodthirsty douchebag. Tony left that job _real_ quick. 

As the actually useful people plan their next step, Officer German (a quite pretty lady Tony had chatted up before the events of Antarctica, who told him a cute story about the misadventures of her wife’s corgi) alerted the scientists of an incoming call from Isla de Mara. 

The large screens in the back of the bridge blink open to a video call from Dr. Emma Russell and her daughter.

“She’s fine Mark, trust me.” Dr. Russell says to her ex-husband and shoos away the young girl.

“Trust is a little hard to come by, Dr. Russell,” Foster says, “especially after what you pulled.”

“Yes, queen....” Tony whispers under his breath. 

Dr. Russel closes her eyes briefly and swallows. “I know. And I can only imagine what you’re all thinking. But if there were any other way to do this, I would.”

“Do what, Emma?” Mark says.

“I’m saving the world.”

“But by releasing those things? That doesn’t make sense.”

“As impossible as it seems, it does. Hear me out, Mark. After we lost Andrew, I swore his death would not be in vain. That I would find an answer. A solution to why the Titans were rising. But as I dug deeper, I realized that they were here for a reason. And that despite all the years that we spent trying to stop them, we never dared to confront the truth.”

“Which truth?” Mark asks, frustrated and wishing she'd already explain why the hell she's going through with this and bringing everyone down with her.

“Humans have been the dominant species for thousands of years, and look what’s happened.” The screen changes to footage of desecrated cities and smog. “Overpopulation, pollution, war. The mass extinction we feared has already begun, and we are the cause.” The video cuts back to her hardened expression, “We are the infection.”

Oh.

My God.

Is she fucking serious?

In his peripheral vision, Tony can see Sam shake his head in disbelief, jaw clenching as Dr. Russell continues her spiel about how the only way to save the planet is apparently to kill everyone with giant death monsters. Poor guy, he believed in her and this is how she repays him? All of them?

Dr. Russell continues, “But like all living organisms, the earth unleashed a fever to fight this infection. Its original and rightful rulers, the Titans.

“They are part of the earth’s natural defense system. A way to protect the planet, to maintain its balance. But if governments are allowed to contain them, destroy them, or use them for war, the human infection will only continue to spread. And within our lifetime, our planet will perish, and so will we. Unless we restore balance.”

At that, the fear, guilt, stress, anger, the general _insanity_ of the entire situation finally gets to Tony and he just shouts, “What the actual _fuck_ are you talking about?”

Everyone turns to face him, most of them probably forgetting that he’s been in the room the whole time. If there’s one thing he's good at other than making himself the center of attention, it's disappearing into the corner of a room until he’s needed. And holy shit does Dr. Russell need a reality check.

Dr. Russell trails off, confused at the random man suddenly yelling at her, “I…Who are you?”

Mark raises his hand to stop Tony, but the younger man ignores him, instead moving closer to the giant screen. “Don’t preach at us with your little powerpoint presentation,” Tony points at Dr. Russell’s face, “A slideshow showing how shitty humanity is can't make mass murder look any better, y’know, even if you’re doing this to ‘save the planet’ or whatever.” 

He waves his hand to the other Monarch employees, “Everyone here trusted you. Sam trusted you until he found out that you just unleashed a three headed dragon that can take down Godzilla. And Rick here did too!” 

Dr. Russell stares at Tony in disbelief and knowing that he made the psychopath speechless revs him up further. 

But Sam’s whisper stops him, “Tony.”

Tony looks back at Sam who flicks his eyes towards Mark. Tony turns to Mark who’s trembling. The media manager backs down to let the older man speak, not without giving Dr. Russell one last sneer. 

“I hate to say that he’s right and he literally just got dragged into this mess…” Mark says to his ex-wife, “You are out of your goddamn mind! First you put our daughter’s life in danger, and now you get to decide the fate of the world. That’s rich, Emma!”

Tony ignores the Russells arguing about their own family drama and boils in his own fury. Graham was literally swallowed whole for no good reason by a three-headed dragon after it just lasered another giant lizard into the ground, and she actually thinks letting every single Titan loose won’t spell out humanity’s doom?

Dr. Russell leaves a parting message, “...I can only urge you all to take refuge. Over the last 60 years, Monarch has prepared bunkers around the world to save and restart civilization. I suggest you find them.”

During her last words, Tony just holds up his middle fingers, waving them around to make sure she really notices them. He keeps them up even after Dr. Russell logs off. 

“That bitch.” Tony’s startled out of his taunting by the angry vitriol he hears come out of Dr. Chen’s mouth. 

“ _Thank you._ ” He raises his hand up high despite still being pissed off, too, “Up top!”

He’s delightfully surprised when Chen is actually angry enough at Dr. Russell to return the gesture.

However, since Tony has somehow landed in some What-the-Fuck plotline, _obviously_ another fucking monster shows up as the Argo flies into Isla de Mara and they’re heading straight for it. 

The volcano in the center of the island erupts into lava and the Titan—Rodan, thank you Dr. Chen—crawls out, screeching at everything in sight. 

“It’s not a coincidence that Monster Zero thing is headed here,” Mark tells Serizawa, “It’s reacting to Big Bird’s cries. That means it’s coming for food, a fight, or a…” He gets cut off by more of Rodan’s roaring.

“A what?!” Tony cries from his corner of the room, panicking again for the nth time in how many hours. 

Mark gives them a grossed out look, “...something more intimate.”

“All this for a fucking monster booty call?!” The media manager throws up his hands in frustration. He’s really starting to regret working for Monarch and it’s literally just his second day on the job.

~O~

F. Tony Scarapiducci looks at the timer on his phone screen, “...three, two, one. Yup! I’m over it.” He puts his iPhone back in his jacket pocket, clasps his hands together, and slumps down in his chair.

Sam, still haggard and breathing heavily from their latest near death experience, asks him what’s wrong.

Tony shrugs casually. “I’m just done with life in general. Or more like _life_ is done with _me_. I don't even care if getting this job was actually some elaborate assassination attempt arranged by everyone I've ever wronged in my life.” He wipes his forehead in a “phew” gesture, “I’ve completely repressed the last 48 hours and...I’m _totally_ fine, now.” 

“...I-I don’t think that’s...healthy?”

“Shhh…” Tony presses his index finger against his lips to hush Sam and then closes his eyes, “...I’m on a tropical island far, far away from here.”

Tony opens an eye when Mark yanks the seatbelt off of himself and asks loudly, “Alright, which way to the hangar?!”

Sam, eager to help, stands up to join him. "I can show you."

"Anybody else?" The older man peers over his colleagues, hoping for aid. 

"Oh, I'll tag along for moral support!" Now that he’s (maybe, not really, most probably not) gotten over his fear of death, Tony gives an encouraging smile as he takes off his own seatbelt too. 

" _Anybody else_ , please, for the love of God?!"

Tony places his hand on his chest slightly hurt by the barb, but does give Mark an agreeing shrug. 

Sam looks between the two of them nervously, “I-I know the way.” 

Mark gives Tony a disgruntled glare but does nod at the younger man, albeit very reluctantly. 

“Come on!” Sam waves at them to follow and they rush off. 

Tony almost misses Rick calling after them sardonically, “Hope you got a big wrench.”

The three men wobble as the hallway they’re running through tilts side-to-side. At the hangar, Tony sees that the bottom platform is cracked and stuck, unable to fully open to welcome the Osprey carrying the survivors. 

Mark takes over the controls, fighting with a soldier which causes a large vehicle hanging from the ceiling of the hangar to drop down and force open the platform.

Just a few seconds later, the Osprey crashes inside. It spins uncontrollably, the screech of metal pierces the air. The propellers begin to head towards the three men _Final Destination_ -style (Tony sighs inwardly, of course it does).

Tony is about to embrace death with literal open arms until he sees Sam just gawk stupidly at the oncoming twirling pieces of killer metal. This dumbass, _he’s_ not the one who’s supposed to die, he's too important to everyone here.

Tony lunges at Sam to pull him out of the way as Mark does the same to him, and all three men fall to the floor just as the Osprey’s wing hits the control terminal.

After helping the G-Team and the Isla de Mara survivors, Tony, Sam, and Mark go back to the bridge. The large windows of the Argo give them front-row seating to round two of Monster Zero vs Godzilla. 

“We’re getting out of here,” Rick says from the flight deck, “The military launched a weapon. It’s gonna kill them both.”

“Well, that’s not the worst idea,” says Mark, who like the others are clutching tight to the railing in the middle of the room.

Tony gives Mark a dirty look, offended on Godzilla’s behalf, “...dude.”

Then, the bomb falls. A bright flash of light covers the entirety of the Argo, a stabbing ringing sound resonates for a moment and the ship lurches once more before stabilizing again. 

To Tony’s unsurprise, the three-headed dragon flies out of the ocean with a roar. However, what does disappoint the man is how Godzilla doesn’t come out right after.

The Monarch employees look toward Rick in grief as the older man calls out Godzilla’s death.

Tony’s heart hurts for Serizawa when the solemn man turns to Mark and says, “Looks like you got your wish, Mark.”

The lead scientist walks sadly to his chair, and Tony glares at Mark, “...not cool, man. Not cool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, Tony's rant during Emma's villain monologue was literally us when we watched Godzilla:KotM for the first time.  
> Also! I (IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic) drew cover art for this fic! You can see it in the first chapter (*＾▽＾)／
> 
> UPDATE  
> IAmOnlyPartlyMajestic: T^T I'm in my last semester of nursing school and I'm stressing!!! This fic is pretty much on a hiatus (don't know how long, just not abandoned), Haha...I wish I had more time and motivation for my fics (๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤)


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